Allowing for Connection
Mirrors Help Us See Each Other
I bike because it makes me happy.
I bike because I feel free when I bike.
I bike because connection is intrinsically built in.
Connection, I’ve learned, starts with opportunity: it grows when compatible people find themselves repeatedly sharing space. In my life, I chose to consciously weave in moments that allow for its possibility, including how I get places. That’s where bikes come in. In a car, there is a literal steel barrier between me and the world. On transit, people keep themselves apart with earbuds and screens. On a bike, there’s no physical or metaphysical wall keeping the world out.
I’ve made new friends on my bike. I’ve had unexpected conversations with strangers, like the couple who rolled down their window to compliment my bike sign (see picture below). My daughter’s daycare classmates chant her name when they see us ride by.
It turns out biking is also the best way to connect with my co-pilot. On a bike, I can meet her needs in ways that aren’t possible while driving - where we’re physically distant - or on transit, where I’m busy managing her interactions with everyone and everything.
On a bike, we’re close enough to touch, exchange toys, negotiate snacks, and chat.
On a bike, we’re each other’s captive audience, almost in our own little bubble.
On a bike, she can cover my back in stickers also looking for connection.
On a bike, when it’s set up right, the magic happens. But the right set up is more than the child seat. It’s also about the view: one where I can see my daughter as I ride.
I need to see her to know:
Is she looking where I’m pointing?
Is she talking to me or singing to herself?
Did she or didn’t she tuck her head under the blanket to block the wind?
Is she safe?
That last one is big. It’s top of mind in every choice I make about our rides. For me, not seeing her isn’t safe. I need to check how she is doing and if she needs anything, while also riding in traffic. I need to see her when she’s behind me and I’m looking straight ahead. How? Mirrors, of course!
Except… there’s one thing I kept noticing when setting up my bike to ride with my daughter:
Not only was the right gear usually hard to find, even when it was readily available, over and over it seemed like I was the only one looking
Bike mirrors are a perfect example of this because they’re easy to find at most bike retailers. Yet…
When I see other people riding with children, I rarely see mirrors on their bike.
When I bought my rear child bike seat at a bike store, no one suggested I pick up a mirror as well.
I’ve never seen bike mirrors sold as a way to keep an eye on your child. In stark contrast, baby car mirrors exist for exactly that purpose.
I had to identify both the problem and the solution before finding a handful of people online who mentioned using bike mirrors the way I do.
Maybe not thinking of bike mirrors as parenting tools is the natural result of an environment where very little information about biking with children exists. It’s one of the main reasons I started these posts, so other people could learn from my experience.
That said, if you’re as interested as I was in seeing your child as you ride, here’s what to keep in mind!
Practical Things I Considered when Choosing my Mirrors
On the bike, not on me: Riding accessories go on the bike, not on me. This ensures I don’t forget the essentials.
Mirrors on both sides: A mirror on the left can’t capture my daughter’s face when she looks right. The only way to always see her face is to have mirrors on both sides.
I’m not transparent, mirrors have to see around me: To see directly behind me, the mirrors have to be at the very end of the handlebars. It makes the handlebars wider, which can be an issue in narrow spaces.
I got Mirrycle Handlebar Mirrors (if you use the associate link, I earn from qualifying purchases). Other handlebar mirrors may work as well, but these were the ones available at my local bike shop.
With these mirrors I can watch my daughter wave at friends and strangers, throw her hands in the air as we roll downhill, and turn her head to look when I point at fire trucks. I can see her nod or shake her head. I can make sure she has what she needs and that nothing has gone overboard. It makes the ride better for both of us and I wouldn’t ride without them.
If you decide to give mirrors a try after reading this, I’d love to hear from you. If you’re looking for more suggestions, stay tuned for future posts on the rest of the gear that can help keep your ride with kids onboard safe and enjoyable!
We have the exact same mirrors and we love them. One works for us to reduce instability when checking who is behind us, but I can see how useful two is to keep an eye on baby girl.